Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
