But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
