this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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