It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
