Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
