please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
