Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
