finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
