so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
