i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
