Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you had me at cake vodka
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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