I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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