If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
