Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
