i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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