Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
