You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
