Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
