Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
