Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
