so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
