well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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