Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
