Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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