So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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