Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
