He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You are a genius and a whore.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
