Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
