she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
