She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
