I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you never un-have a 4some
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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