remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
