Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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