Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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