there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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