You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
