Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
