I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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