There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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