Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
