opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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