I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
