did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
