I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
