at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
