Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
