he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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