I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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