I need help removing her.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
