You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
