Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
