I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
