If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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