I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
