cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
