Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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