Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
