I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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